Friday, April 25, 2014

Mga Istoryang Sinauna: X-Rated

Warning: This post contains X-rated anecdotes and vulgar, albeit anatomically accurate, language. Not for kids (ironically, as you'd see later) or prudes.

In our barrio, every summer, especially during May, there are a number of activities, whether religious or secular, fiesta, to entertain everyone. Fiestas, sagalahans (santacruzan), singing contests, palarong pangbata, name it and you've got it -- literally, as this story will prove.

Minsan, nanood kami ng show. They made a makeshift stage in front of the chapel, which was separated by curtains that served as the stage's background. Di ko matandaan kung ilang taon ako nun, but kaya pa akong ilagay ng tatay ko sa balikat nya -- I'm guessing late toddler or so. So anyway, the show went on. I think it started with a couple of musicians and singers. Aside sa ikukwento ko, all other details are hazy. A dancer in blue sequined string bikini went to the stage and started gyrating to the music. Why my father didn't immediately leave remains unknown to me. Sobra sigurong na-mesmerize dun sa dancer at nakalimutan na kasama nya ang kanyang anak. LOL! Although in my "innocent" mind, I deemed her too stocky to be an exotic dancer. Also, she had this huge Afro hairstyle. I was about to say "retro," but at that time, hindi pa sya retro...modern and trendy pa. Going back to the performance, well, she continued to dance, quite boring actually at first, then she slowly proceeded to strip off her sequined bikini top. After a few more half-hearted topless gyrations, she started to titillate and tease the audience by untying her bikini bottom but holding on to it. Yung mga lalaki, ginaganahan na yata ng todo and were yelling at her to take everything off. So sayaw-sayaw muna sya, konting giling, kembot-kembot. When she finally took off her bikini bottom:

"P*TANG-INA! MAY T*TI!!! @#%$%#!!!", somebody in the audience shouted.

True enough, "it" is there -- in all its, uhmm, naked glory. I don't remember what happened anymore after that. I don't know kung ano ang sinabi ng tatay ko sa nanay ko, if at all; kung inamin ba nyang nanood sya ng "bomba" at sinama pa nya ang anak nya; kung nag-away ba sila after. 

Years after, pag naaalala ko eto, I kinda question its veracity -- feeling ko eh figment of my imagination lang. I mean, it's just too incredulous, right? But the details are simply too vivid. Anyway, we spent a couple of weeks at at my parents this April and luckily, I remembered the story and asked my dad. He said that he couldn't remember anymore. Pero pansin ko he was looking a bit fishy and left in haste. Hahahaha! I hope you won't judge him for letting me watch that show. Come to think of it, that dancer must have enjoyed that tongue-in-cheek number, springing his "thing" to unsuspecting bumpkins, and the irony, nay, the travesty of that lewd, yet funny, show in front of the chapel, that seemed to have been lost on the organizers and audience.


  1. Laugh trip ako sobra :) Benta! hahaha The most that made me laugh was when you asked your Dad about it now ahahaha

  2. LOL! Alam mo, he was really being sketchy about it. Ang bilis nakaalis ng bahay. #AlamNa

  3. Hahaha nagawa mo pang tanungin ang Dad mo. Syempre he'll deny it ;)

  4. But action speaks louder. Hahahaha!


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