Saturday, March 14, 2015

Mga Istoryang Sinauna: Ipiseseseses!

Derdo shared this in Facebook a couple of days ago.

Please ignore the completely unrelated background.
It was either this or a picture of an ipis. No contest, obviously.
From Femina
So true, right? Why does it fly to you when you're trying to murder it? Burst of bravado? Or perhaps a bluff? Which usually works, by the way! And why are the so hard to kill? They're terrorists, I tell you.

Back in college, we had to dissect those damned insects for our Invertebrate Biology class. We were teamed up in twos, and fortunately, I got teamed with my best friend. Afraid na ako sa simula pa lang, but I thought na kakayanin ko naman. Walang kalaban-laban yung cockroach -- it was pinned to the dissecting pan and there was no chance of it flying.

I was feigning bravery and failing in each passing moment, PERO once I sliced it open, it emitted a smell so foul!!! I retched. My friend, who had been so patient with my kaartehan, took over and did the rest of the dissection. Grabe, I owe her my life. Friends forever, teh!

Anyway, hindi yan ang main kwento.

I was living alone in a one-room apartment in a seedy part of Parañaque near the office. Before sleeping, I noticed a tiny part of the ceiling fell. I didn't pay much attention, thinking I can tell the owner the next day.

So nakatulog na ako. Around midnight, I heard more pieces of wood falling. Kebs lang. Back to sleep. 

THEN NAGISING AKO, WITH A THOUSAND COCKROACHES SCRAMBLING ALL OVER MY FACE AND BODY. ALL OVER THE ROOM. And the all-too familiar foul smell permeating my room. I was living a nightmare. I was screaming. And I thought I'd pass out.

Thankfully, I was able to take a hold of myself and I tried to kill as many as I could and I opened the windows and the door and let the living leave (take no prisoners!) and then I swept the rest out. Di na ako nakatulog after that. I closed the hole in the ceiling. I inspected every nook and cranny and washed every surface with disinfectant. Deodorized the room. Buti maliit lang yung room ko. I felt violated. Took a bath twice. Or was it thrice?

Still traumatized till now. Seriously, can you give me one positive contribution of cockroaches to our ecology? No, I didn't think so. And whoever eradicates cockroaches deserves a Nobel Prize. But until then, I'm keeping my bug spray with me. #LoveYouBaygon! :)

12 comments :

  1. E, 'yan ang tinatawag na bangungot habang gising! Waaaa... I cannot imagine having that kind of experience... Teka, kahit pala sa "imagine" -- ayoko pa din! hehehe.

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  2. Traumatized pa rin ako.

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  3. I saw that image just the other day - natawa ako! My sister-in-law is really terrified of the flying ipis and we make fun of her hehehe. Pero grabe naman ang experience mo - traumatic nga. Ako naman may morbid fear of lizards. I hate them.

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    1. Mom ko rin, takot sa lizard. Ang ayoko ay yung lizard na nahuhulog! Shokot ako, pero mas kaya ko yun compared with ipis kasi hindi mabaho. May kwento ang officemate ni TheHusband: Takot daw sya sa tuko and yung husband nya naman ay takot sa ipis. Minsang gabi, paguwi nila, may tuko sa door, may kakahuli-huli lang na ipis. Fearing that shooing it away might frighten the gecko, making it release the cockroach, and the cockroack possibly flying toward them, the couple just waited for the gecko to finish eating the cockroach. Matagal-tagal daw silang nasa labas ng bahay...

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  4. Hahaha! Parang yung mga nephews ko. May flying ipis sa room nila. Mga college yan sila ha. Sa sala sila natulog dahil sa takot. LOL!

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    1. Hahahahaha! Bawas pogi points sa ghels 'yan! Though come to think of it, they'd surely understand. It was a flying ipis after all. ISIS have nothing on them. :)

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  5. My son detests ipis. He'd call the HH each time he'd see one. I asked, if you're married, who'll deal with them? The wife daw.

    On another note, I constantly ask God why he created ipis, lamok and their ilk. He hasn't answered me yet. Rats and mice too.

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    1. Pareho tayo ng tanong. Kung minsan, naiisip ko baka nasa kanila ang gamot sa mga dreaded diseases eh. Case in point: the longevity of cockroaches.

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  6. I abhor cockroaches!!!!! I make sure I kill them when I see them. Frustrated pa ako pag hindi ko napatay. Sorry, pero "murderer" talaga ako ng ipis. Naamoy ko na rin yung smell dati, ewwww, di na nawala sa memory ng ilong ko, haha. Kakatakot yang cockroach experience mo sa apartment, hihimatayin ata ako kung sa akin nangyari yan. Waaaaah... :(

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    1. Uggghhh...kinikilabutan ako pag naaalala ko.

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  7. Ksama daw sila sa food chain kaya may reason ang existence nila hahaha Seriously, I can proudly claim na medyo malinis naman ako sa workplace at bahay.. medyo lang hahaha problem is, if you are malinis and your nearest neighbors are not.. useless, kainez haha

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    1. Malinis ang apartment ko ha?! Marumi yung adjacent! Hehehehe, defensive ako.

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