Here We Go Again

May helper ulit kami. I'm not sure kung tatagal sya. Or tatagal kami, i.e., ako. After all, we'll be together the whole day. Am having reservations kasi parang napipilitan lang. And given my family's track record pagdating sa helpers, good luck naman. Let me give you an overview of [almost] all the helpers we've had.

Helper 1: Di marunong magluto. Kaya kong pagtyagaan yun kasi may vetsin dila ko. Sablay ang fashion sense. Minsan dinala si Sharkteeth sa office: floral skirt, striped blouse, polka-dotted sock. Galit sa prints. Hehehe. Still, kebs lang. Madaling i-correct. Nahihilo at nasusuka sa kotse. Di na lang namin masyadong isinasama sa mga byahe. Eventually, pinauwi ng asawa kasi wala daw nag-aalaga sa sariling anak. Ironic, right?
 
Helper 2: Devil incarnate. Nabuntis ng village electrician. At dun pa pala nya pinapakain sa bahay ang electrician pag wala kami. Kaya pala ang bilis maubos ng groceries namin. No, di ko sya pinaalis. Naawa ako eh. Tapos nung umalis, binigyan ko pa ng mga baby stuff and additional money to tide her over. After umalis, nalaman ko na kinukulong sa cabinet si S. I hate her. I rarely hate anything or anyone. Intensely dislike, yes; hate, rarely. Pero I HATE HER. S remembers her and her bad deeds.

Helper 3: This one's okay. She only took the job because she was planning to study and was just trying to save some money. She sucked at house chores but was utterly nice to S. I can live with that. She's bright as well, and when the scholarship she was waiting for materialized, she left. S cried a river.

Helper 4: Favorite ko eto. Cooks well, masinop sa bahay, mabait kay S. may inner serenity. Chos. Hahaha! You know what I mean. Walang mga issues, confident yet not bossy. She was planning to go to Hong Kong. I don't mind. But she left after a month. Her mom, who was taking care of her two kids (again, the sad irony), cannot cope and asked her to come home. We were sad when she left.

Helper 5: Weekly ang off. Okay lang. I actually encourage helpers to take a weekly off. Pero eto, winner. Aalis yan ng Friday night. Nung una, babalik sya ng late afternoon ng Sunday. Then Sunday evening. Then late Sunday evening. Then Monday morning na. Then Monday afternoon na. Then Tuesday na ng umaga. Wala man lang pasabi. Kung maka-text sa iba, parang naka-unli, pero para magsabi na di sya makakabalik agad, waley. Napikon na ako, sabi ko huwag na syang bumalik. Iniwan ko na lang sa guard ang damit nya.

Helper 6: Was recommended by a Girltalker. Lagi kong naririnig na sinisigawan si S. Kahit nasa bahay ako, ha? Paano na lang pag wala ako sa bahay. Wala pang isang linggo, pinaalis ko na.

Helper 7: We called her Lobelia Baggins. Malikot ang kamay. Ang hilig mag-uwi ng gamit. Maliliit na bagay lang naman...sa simula. Nalaman na lang namin later that she had a young lover, a village carpenter, whom she gifted with TheHusband's tools. Goodness gracious. I was so angry minsan kasi I went home early, tapos pagdating ko, shortly, hinatid na ng school bus si S, and the helper wasn't there. Chugi right then and there. Theft is one thing; neglecting S is a totally different ballgame.

Helper 8: I liked this one. Again, she has inner serenity. Pretty and charming. Matalino pa. Kaya lang sakitin. Eventually, nag-resign and umuwi muna sa province. Nagpagaling muna sya dun. She brought Helper 9 bilang pangpalit sa kanya.

Helper 9: Pwede nang pagtyagaan. Not too bright, pero naman, asa pa ba ako. Like I said, kayang pagtyagaan. Kaso minsang gabi, pag-uwi ko, makita ko may lalaki sa likod ng bahay namin. He was trying to get in. Apparently, nanliligaw sa kanya or boyfriend nya. He was drunk and making a scene. I had to call village security. Ang unang story is ex-boyfriend nya stalking her. Later I learned that she was pregnant (by another guy) and she was roping this guy into marrying her. I cannot feel safe with her (and her boy and baby issues) around.

Helper 10: Ayoko sa kanya. Sobrang tigas ng ulo. I specifically told her not to use the landline to call mobile phones or long distance, nalaman ko na lang >8K na ang bill namin sa PLDT. Eto pa, on the same night na nalaman ko na ang laki ng phone bill namin dahil sa kanya, earlier that day, she was accosted by the village guards kasi she tried to go out, bringing with her a huge plastic bag of clothes. When the guards checked with my MIL, who was visiting that time, yung mga lumang clothes na ipapamigay ko yung dala-dala nya. I don't mind na sa kanya mapunta yun, but I would have preferred that she asked. After ko syang sermunan tungkol dun, nakita ko ang PLDT bill namin. Ay naghalo ang balat sa tinalupan. Galit na galit ako. Imagine naman, >8K ang bill. Pano ka namang di magagalit. To think, sinabihan ko sya na huwag gamitin. And I even bought her a cell phone para personal use nya. Ay naku, drama-rama. Nagsisisigaw ako. Pinalayas ko. Binawi ko syempre yung cell phone. Dun ko nalaman na kung sino-sinong lalaki ang ka-text and mini-meet pag day off. May asawa etong iniwan sa Bacolod, ha?!

Helper 11: Naku, ayoko sa helper na eto. Sobrang daldal. [Hehehe, pot-calling-the-kettle-black moment]. Pero sobra talaga. I was working freelance na nun and I was always at home, in the room. Basta lumabas ako ng room, she would accost me and make daldal. I had to politely chat. Mga love life travails nya. Mga boylets nya. Mga exes nya. Etc. Saka di yata marunong mag-toothbrush. Super yellow at nangangapal ang food remnants sa teeth. Kadirs. Nakataas pa ang binti sa chair pag kumakain. Eh sabay-sabay kaming kumain. Naaalibadbaran ako. She stole my MAC eyeliner pa. Hehehe, bitter pa ako till now. Pati yung cardigan and skirt na gift kay S nung birthday nya, ninakaw. Bwiset. Coincidentally, gumaling na si Helper 8 and wanted to work again sa amin. Hayun, na-chugi ko na finally si Helper 11.

So balik tayo kay Helper 8, who at that time got married na. Kaso a couple of months later bumalik yung health problem nya and had to stop working again. Oh well.

When we got here, we had part-time helpers who would clean the house and wash twice a week.

Helper 12: Pwede na. Di masipag. Di rin gaano kalinis sa bahay. Pero pinagtyagaan na lang namin. Her daughter got pregnant and she had to take care of her grandchild. No love lost. Hehehe.

Helper 13: On her supposed to be starting day, pumunta, a-absent daw sya that day and the next day kasi may aasikasuhin next town. Okay. On her actual starting day, umutang ng pera.  Okay. Kaso on the second day, umuutang na naman. At ang laki nung inuutang na amount. Then absent na naman. Every week na lang, absent. Every week na lang, umuutang. Ang hilig pang manghingi ng mga damit. Eventually, di na bumalik. May utang pang naiwan. Again, no love lost.

Which brings us to our present helper. Ayan na, while writing this entry, may nabasag na sya. Here we go again.

Sharkteethhhhh, pakikuha nga ng paracetamol!!!