Mga Istoryang Sinauna: Milk Maid Fail

From http://www.pailsofpaint.com/

Coming from school one day, pagdating ko sa bahay, aba! aba! aba! Sarado ang bahay at walang katao-tao. Hintay-hintay muna ako sa may hagdanan.

Kaso matagal-tagal na rin ang nakalipas.

At dumidilim na.

Honestly, di fear ang naramdaman ko. Gutom! Siguro grade I ako nun. Eh medyo tanga, hindi ko man lang naisip na pumunta sa kapitbahay. Hindi ko naman masabi na nahihiya akong manghingi ng food, kasi relatives ko naman ang mga neighbors namin, and besides, makapal mukha ko. Case in point: Minsan nagpunta ako sa bahay ng aunt ng cousin ko [di kami related]. Ipinagawa nya ako ng kape. Eh since kapal-fez nga ako, I asked kung wala bang milk to cream my coffee. Hehehe. See my point?

Anyhooo, back to my story. Gutom na nga ako. Makita ko, andun yung baka* namin sa front yard. And an idea sparked: bakit di ko gatasan ang baka? I've seen my dad do it a million times. Kaya ko yun! So I got myself a small bucket and started.

I pulled on a teat.

Nothing.

I pulled on another teat.

Nothing.

And another teat.

Nothing.

I was on the last possible teat.

Nothing.

Whyyyyyyy??? 

Waaaaahhhh...No milk for me. The cow was looking at me, seemingly saying, "I've been so patient with you, letting you pull on my bovine boobies, and you didn't get anything?!"

Finally, dumating na ang parental unit et al. And they all laughed at me when they learned what I tried to do. Hello! I wouldn't have had to do that kung andun sila sa bahay pagdating ko, diba?! #WalaPangBantayBataNun. Apparently, you have to "prime" the mammaries before you can get milk. Malay ko ba?! So there.


NOTE: Breast milk is best for babies up to 2 years. After that, mag-TetraPak na lang. Mahirap palang mag-gatas.


*That cow was my Ingkong's pamana sa akin. The poorita's version of a trust fund. Hehehe. All proceeds from the sale of calves from that heifer went to my educational fund. Pang-tuition. Uniform. Etc. My Ingkong loved me so much and let me get away with my pranks. Which reminds me of the time when...hmmmmm...sa ibang entry na lang.